Doir Gray
by Sushi Chi
Summary: A new telling of an old fairytale. Puck/Kurt


**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Snow White.  
A/N: I hope you enjoy this, I had fun coming up with all the ideas and writing it. It's a fairytale AU. A little bit of Kurt/Blaine but trust me, it's a Kurt/Puck story. Enjoy!**

"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who has the best voice in the land?"

"Please use my name." The Mirror stated.

Queen Rachel sighed, "Fine. Jesse, who is the best?"

"Excluding me, why it's you. Of course." Jesse stated with a smirk.

"You are a soulless mirror," Rachel hissed, "You may be able to hit the notes, but you don't have the heart like I do."

"But my showface is better." He flashed his showface.

King Finn walked in and looked at Jesse, "When I see you smile like that, I get happy."

Jesse's head bowed, "Why thank you King Finn."

Finn grinned, "I'm still not used to being called 'King'."

Rachel smiled at her husband, "You'd better get used to it. I'd like to keep you around."

"I want to thank you for letting my family move in with us." Finn stated. "It was awesome of you."

Rachel shrugged, "I have the room. It is a castle, after all. Besides, I like your family. And I get along with Kurt, usually."

Finn look down, "Yeah, I explained to him that he really shouldn't complain to you about your dresses. But he said that as the Queen you should be in the best fashion and he should let you know when you're not."

She tilted her head, "That's one way of looking at it."

"Kurt is hard to get to know." Finn said, wrapping his arms about Rachel, "He's had a tough life and he built up walls and it's hard to get past them. It's like if someone had decided to attack the castle. Wouldn't get through to the heart, to you."

"So that's why he's kinda bitchy?" Rachel scrunched up her nose in thought.

"Yeah. Dude's pretty cool though, when you get to know him."

Rachel thought for a little bit, "What he needs is someone special. Like how I have you and my dad's have each other and your mom had found Burt."

"That's a great idea! I bet that'll help him be nicer more often." Finn said. "He'll be happy. He isn't mean when he's happy."

Rachel nodded, "I'll find a suitable guy and set them up. It'll be romantic and heartfelt and within a week, he'll be married." Because that's how her kingdom worked. When you found the one you loved, you married them. And it never took long to decide if the person was your true love.

"You're the best." Finn kissed her on the lips.

She smiled against him, "I know."

"You both need to get a room." Jesse said.

{{{|

"Jesse, who is the best performer in my kingdom?"

"You are." Jesse sighed, "And you're not surprised. Why don't you ask interesting questions? Like if the one reporter is a peeping tom? Y'know, Jewfro? Him. I know if he is or not." Jesse waggled his eyebrows.

"Please, I don't even want to think about that." Rachel said with a face of disgust. She paused and thought, "That prince I met last month and sang with, Sam? Is he by chance-"

"Gay?" Jesse asked, raising an eyebrow. "No. He's also not really blonde. But that Blaine you met last week? He is. Ooh. You want to hook him up with Kurt?" He nodded to himself, "Blaine is a good choice. They have over fifty percent compatibility."

"Sam's not really blonde?" Rachel asked, blinking.

"That really isn't the part you should be paying attention to." Jesse said slowly, "You should go and set up a meeting with Kurt and Blaine."

"Right." Rachel nodded, "I'll get on that."

{{{|

It really had been a romantic first meeting. Rachel set it up to where Kurt and Blaine could walk the gardens alone and watch the peacocks stroll the grounds. Kurt was charmed and Blaine had used his Charming Smile numbers Three, Five, and Twenty Seven.

"Would you mind if I sang you a song?" Blaine asked, holding Kurt's hand.

"I would love that." Kurt replied with a smile, "As long as I get to sing one when you're done."

"Of course!" Blaine gave Charming Smile Number Nine before starting to sing 'Teenage Dream'. Kurt grinned at all the right places and felt like he could see himself getting married to Blaine at the end of the week, just as Rachel said he would.

When the song was over, Kurt sang 'Defying Gravity' and Blaine was astounded at the range and control Kurt had over his voice. At the end of the song, Blaine got down on one knee and asked if they could be wed. For this is a fairytale world where unicorns procreated enough that there were a number of them about even though dragons liked to eat them.

After agreeing to the proposal, the two went to tell Rachel and thank her for setting them up. She made sure they hadn't kissed yet and they assured her that they'd just held hands and ran in slow motion a few times; she was all about waiting till the wedding night. Pleased at the news, Rachel clapped her hands and said she would sing at their wedding.

{{{|

"Thank you, Jesse." Rachel said, "Blaine was a perfect choice. Kurt is nice now and all is right in my kingdom."

"Uh-huh." Jesse said absently.

"Okay, Jesse, can you tell me who can hit a high F?" Rachel smiled, knowing the answer was going to be her and her alone.

"You and Kurt." Jesse yawned.

She froze, "What?"

"You and Kurt. The other day when Kurt sang to Blaine he hit a high F. Therefore, you and Kurt." He shrugged, it was simple.

Frowning, Rachel stomped out of the room where the enchanted mirror rested on the wall. Ignoring Finn's questions to her well-being, she went into her room and locked the door behind her. She wasn't the only one, in time Kurt might be able to out-sing her. That couldn't stand. But he was Finn's brother and if she exiled Kurt her husband wouldn't understand and he might want a divorce.

So she had to get rid of Kurt without the others finding out.

Glancing out her window, she surveyed her kingdom. The little village that sat next to her castle and the guilds court next door. Seeing Sue Sylvester leave the court, Rachel grinned. Sue ran the assassins guild. They were always successful and no one would ever know who hired the assassin, just that Kurt perished.

Perfect.

{{{|

"If you think I'm going to bow to you, you've got it wrong Short-Stuff." Sue said, leaning back in her chair. "I don't care if you are the Queen. I only care about the money you'll pay me."

Rachel put a bag full of gold on the desk that lay between them, "I need someone to get rid of Kurt Hummel."

Sue handed the money off to her assistant, Becky, to count it. "You mean Lady Face? That porcelain milkmaid who is brother to your husband? Any certain way you want Lady Face to die?"

"No. Just so long as he does. He's in my way. I take no prisoners." Rachel stated.

Sue grinned, "No prisoners. I commend that." At Becky's nod, Sue said, "I'll see what I can do. You can leave now, the stench of your annoyance is giving me a headache."

{{{|

Karofsky twirled the knife in his hand. This wouldn't be too hard. He was one of the best assassins Sue had on her team. And he never cared who he was sent for, child, grandparent, male, female. Meant nothing to him. The fight was like sex and the killing blow was his orgasm.

He really hoped this Kurt Hummel fought back.

Upon seeing his target, Karofsky silently followed him and reaching out, pulled the other into an alley. He knew that Kurt was in the public's eye, he was living in the castle after all, so he didn't really want to be seen killing the kid.

"Get your giant hands off me." Kurt yelled, pulling himself out of Karofsky's grasp. "You Neanderthal." Karofsky saw that Kurt was shaking, probably of fear. Though looking closer, it wasn't fear on his face. Kurt was angry. Really angry. And he looked like an avenging angel. An Arch Angel and Karofsky idly wondered if Kurt was going to grab a flaming sword and smite him for being an assassin. Swallowing dryly, Karofsky dropped his dagger. He couldn't kill Kurt. The teenage boy had a beauty about him and his voice did sound like an angel's.

"Listen to me." Karofsky didn't let go of Kurt, "The Queen hired me to kill you." Kurt froze, "You need to get out of here. She said that she'll take no prisoners. You need to run and get away." He pushed Kurt deeper into the alley, "Run!"

{{{|

Kurt held himself, shivering from the cold. "Stupid Rachel." He muttered, kicking rocks as he walked in the forest, "I don't even know why she wanted to kill me, I've only got word from that brute." He paused, "What if she didn't really want to kill me? Then I'm walking through a cold, damp forest and talking to myself for no reason." Growling in frustration, he thought about it, "I'll listen to the news. If word gets out that I'm dead then she did send that swine to be rid of me. If I'm missing I'll go back home." Nodding to himself, he took a break sitting on a large rock.

Then again, if the bully did that and claimed he was dead, the news would say that even if Rachel hadn't tried to kill him. Maybe he'd pay attention to the pictures and see if she seemed smug or happy. Rachel really wasn't that good of an actor, she wouldn't be able to fake her ennui over his death.

Looking up, Kurt could see that through the leaves of the trees it was starting to get dark. He'd need to find shelter for the night. Getting up, he mourned his now ruined and muddy shoes as he trudged along.

It was then that he heard some laughter. Walking a bit faster, he soon broke into a clearing where a rather large house sat with some people his age sitting around talking. Shrugging to himself, Kurt approached them. "Hello?"

"Hey. You just come from the forest?" One of them asked.

"Yeah, it's a complicated story." Kurt supplied, figuring he wouldn't get into it unless he was sure he could stay the night here. Especially considering he wasn't even sure on what all happened. "I'm Kurt Hummel and -"

"Seriously?" Another one asked, an Asian girl, "Radio said you died. King Finn has gotten realy depressed about it."

Kurt blinked and deflated some, "Oh, so they do think I'm dead." Shaking his head, he continued, "Anyway, I was wondering if I could maybe stay the night here or-"

"Of course, white boy." The first girl said with a grin, "I'm Mercedes, this is Tina and Brittany." She pointed to them as she spoke, "Can I have your autograph. I bet it's worth a ton now that you're dead."

"No one has ever asked me for my autograph." Kurt said, sitting down next to them.

"So, what happened?" Tina asked.

Kurt told his side of the story, a few boys coming over once he started. When it was done, the boy with the Mohawk - Puck, said, "Dude, that sucks balls. I'm sure Schue will be fine if you stay here. At least until we're sure you'd be safe if you went back."

Mercedes nodded, "You can room with me." She and Kurt shared a grin.

"Who is Schue?" Kurt asked.

"He's the one adult here." The Asian guy named Mike said, his arms around Tina.

"One adult to how many kids?"

Mike rattled off the names, raising a finger for each one, "Mercedes, Tina, Brittany, Santana, Puck, Quinn and myself."

"Yeah," Puck said, "And as we're all minors, Schue-"

"-Will Schuester." Mercedes added.

"-watches over us. Law says there needs to be at least one adult." Puck finished easily.

The group took Kurt around the house and showed him where everything was and introduced him to the others. Santana glared and took Brittany up to their room, Quinn smiled friendly and then linked arms with Mercedes and took Brittany's place in the group. Then they made it to Schue's office.

Schue recognized who Kurt was immediately, "It's gotten out that Sylvester's guild was sent after you. No one knows which assassin did the deed - or failed to as it seems, but there is an uproar about it."

"Rachel, does she seem distraught over it or-" Kurt asked slowly.

Schue shrugged, "She doesn't seem too broken up, but I also don't know her or how easily she-"

"She is a drama queen." Kurt said, "If she was feeling sad over my so called death, you'd know it." He sighed, "I guess the thug was correct when he said she was the one with the contract."

Kurt found out that Schue let the teens room with whoever they wanted, couples could room together if they wanted but were told that they would need to be careful if they did anything. Two beds to room so Brittany and Santana roomed together, Tina and Mike, Mercedes and Quinn usually roomed together and Puck would have one to himself.

Turned out Brittany and Santana had a weird relationship where they were basically dating, Tina and Mike where dating, and Mercedes and Quinn were just friends. Or mostly just friends. Quinn used to go out with Puck for a bit but that didn't end well and they wouldn't tell Kurt how it ended. And Quinn said that she wasn't going to room with Puck so Kurt either got to sleep on floor with her and Mercedes or be in a bed in Puck's room.

After spending a few nights sleeping under trees, Kurt choose the bed.

"You don't mind, do you?" Kurt asked Puck.

Puck shrugged, "I don't care what you do."

{{{|

Rachel cleared her throat, "Okay, Jesse. Who can hit a high F now?"

"You." Jesse paused to see Rachel grin, "And Kurt."

Rachel's eyes narrowed, "Don't joke."

"I'm not joking." Jesse shrugged.

"I know you are. I had Kurt killed." She protested.

"He's not dead." Jesse informed her, "Would you like to know where he is."

Nodding hesitantly, she said, "Yes."

Jesse started talking about how in the middle of the woods, not too far away, was a house that the one adult there called 'New Directions'. "And Kurt showed up there yesterday. They've taken him in."

{{{|

Rachel stormed into Sue's office, "Kurt is still alive!"

Sue looked up, "You can't just come in here without making an appointment."

"I can, I'm Queen." Rachel stated simply.

"And I'm Sue Sylvester." Sue said back, "But since you're here already and I want to never see your mug again, what is this about Lady Face?"

"He's still alive." Rachel said, "My magic mirror - which knows all, said so. My two gay dad's gave it to me for my last birthday."

Sue rolled her eyes, "Does it look like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat caring about how you got this so called 'magic mirror'? I'd rather be pretending to be a lumberjack and cropping a wolf in two." She leaned back in her chair, "What do you want?"

Rachel took a breath, "Since you failed at doing your services, I want you to put in contact with a magic-doer."

Sue grinned mischievously, "I've got just the person."

{{{|

The first thing Rachel thought when she entered the room was that it was clean. Really clean.

"I'm Emma Pillsbury. How can I help you?" her large eyes kept watch on Rachel like she was going to kill her.

"Sue sent me. You can do magic?" Rachel asked.

Emma nodded, "I am one of the best. My spells never go wrong. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. What can I help you with?"

"I need an enchanted scarf." Rachel said, "I need it to tighten when someone puts it on. Tighten enough to cut off their air supply."

Emma's eyes got bigger, "Gosh, you want to me kill someone. No, no, no. I don't do things like that. I make things clean and nice. If you'd like a nice spell that cleans us messes, I can-"

"I am your Queen." Rachel said, "And the intended for this scarf is someone who deserves it. A bad guy."

Emma nodded slowly, "I guess I can see what I can do." Since she realized that she would have to or face imprisonment or worse. Rachel could kill her, not that far off of an idea since Rachel was planning someone else's death.

{{{|

Rachel went to Lauren Zizes and had her follow Jesse's directions to the New Direction house. She told Lauren to sell the scarf to Kurt and make sure Kurt put it on before walking away.

Laruen made it to the New Directions house easily and was glad that it seemed as if it was only Kurt who was home. "You alone?"

Kurt sighed, "Everyone else had to work. I'll be getting a job soon, I suppose. But that might be a little while away." After all, he was supposed to be dead. After the news of his not-death slowed down, he'd be able to get a job too and help pay for things at the house. Until then, he busied himself with cleaning it and was welcome to someone showing up to talk to.

"Well, I guess I'll just ask you and hope you buy something." Lauren shrugged, "Want a scarf?"

Kurt's eyes lit up, "Oh, please." He looked at her selection. "Hm, which one do I want?"

"I think you should get this one." Laruen was rather bored with what she was doing, but she did it anyway. Holding up the cursed scarf, she was glad that she could report back that Kurt took it from her.

"I'll take it." He handed over the money and preceded to put it around his neck, "How do I look?"

"Great." Laruen's voice was monotone, "Right. Catch ya later." Walking away, she didn't pay attention as the scarf started to tighten around Kurt's neck.

Kurt watched her walk away and turned around, going back into the house. After a minute, he realized the scarf was getting more snug. A few seconds longer and Kurt decided it was constricting. Starting to feel light-headed, he reached for the piece of apparel, trying to loosen it. But it was in vain. Before he knew it, Kurt was having spots appear on his vision and he was swaying, needing breath.

Puck ignored Mercedes telling him that he didn't have to have sex with everyone who came into the shop where they worked as they came home for their lunch break. Mercedes stopped talking and stared in horror at seeing Kurt laying on the floor, unconscious and barely breathing.

Upon hearing the sudden quiet, Puck looked down and assessed the situation. Trying to untie the scarf, he said, "Mercedes, get some scissors, the scarf is too tight."

Mercedes burst into action and got scissors. Puck took them right away and started chopping at the scarf. It didn't take long before Puck had sliced the scarf and Kurt gasped with air.

Once Kurt woke up, they explained what happened and he told them about the person showing up and selling scarves. Puck acted like a bit of a jerk, not understand why Kurt needed to buy one in the first place.

{{{|

"Kurt's still alive, btw." Jesse said, not surprised at Rachel's anger.

{{{|

"It didn't work." Rachel glared at Emma, "How about some poisonous hairspray? Think you can manage that without screwing it up?"

This time, Rachel sent Jacob Ben Isreal to the New Directions house. "Sell him the hairspray and I will let you interview me." Jacob, of course, agreed to that right away and made his way towards the woods.

"Can I interest you in some hairspray?" Jacob asked Kurt after being let inside to use the bathroom. "I'm selling it. Great hold."

Kurt had been looking for some new hairspray. He'd left all of his at the castle and Mercedes' didn't have a strong enough hold. After handing over some money, Kurt went into the bathroom and used it. Upon coming back into the living room, he felt dizzy and fell on the floor, right in front of the door before passing out.

This time Puck and Tina were walking home together. She was ignoring his attempts at getting into her pants. Opening the door, Tina was horrified to see Kurt on the floor and Puck once again, assessed the damage. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary, or anything that made it clear as to what happened. "Tina, get a glass of water, gonna see if pouring it on his face will wake him up."

Tina did as she was told and Puck splashed the water on Kurt's face. Most of the water ran through his hair, washing the poisonous hairspray out. Upon waking up, Kurt told them about buying some hairspray and Puck threw the can away, ignoring Kurt's protests that it wasn't the hairsprays fault, and please don't take your anger out on it.

{{{|

"Did it work?" Rachel asked.

"No." Jesse didn't feel ticked off when Rachel stormed out of the room.

{{{|

"I don't care what you poison, I just need it to work this time." Rachel yelled at Emma, "Poison some cake, or a flower. An apple!"

{{{|

Rachel sighed, sitting in front of a normal mirror, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." She put on a wig and did her make-up so that she looked like a nice older lady. Smiling at her skills, she made her way to the New Directions house.

"Apples, would anyone like an apple?" She called out, happy to see that Kurt was outside. She hoped her costume was good enough to fool him.

"We are running out of food." Kurt mused. "How many do you have? We've got a lot of people living here." He really should buy one for everyone.

"Oh, I'm sure I have enough." Rachel said, smiling some. "Would you like to sample before hand?"

"I am rather famished." Kurt said slowly, grabbing the apple. Taking his first bite, he said, "Do I know you?" Swallowing, he never got the answer as the poison took hold.

Rachel grinned to herself as Kurt fell to the ground. "That better work."

This time when Puck and Quinn came home for lunch, Puck couldn't find any reason for Kurt's demeanor. He tried the water trick and it didn't work, he tried yelling Kurt's name and it didn't work, he tried everything he could think of. None of it worked.

Kurt wasn't waking up.

{{{|

"Is Kurt still a threat to me?" Rachel asked.

"No." Jesse sighed sadly.

{{{|

"I'd say he was poisoned." Schue said slowly before consulting his book of spells and poisons.

"We found an apple near him, one bite taken out of it." Quinn said.

Finding the right page in his book, Schue shook his head, "He needs a kiss from his true love."

"He was going to marry the Prince Blaine, wasn't he?" Mercedes asked. The girls all nodded their head. "Should we get a hold of him? Hope he comes?"

"Wouldn't hurt to try." Schue said, "Let's get Kurt into a bed."

He and the girls got Kurt into his bed in Puck's room. Puck and Mike were out getting groceries at the point in time - having been sent when none of the girls would leave Kurt's side (and they did really need food, Kurt was buying those apples for a reason).

They sent a letter to Prince Blaine, explaining the situation while everyone else moped around the house, watching over Kurt, hoping he'd just come out of it and wake up.

Kurt had been in a coma for a week before Blaine showed up, "He's really been alive this whole time?"

"Yeah dude." Puck said, "He was like, hiding out for a bit till the bitch trying to off him didn't care and stuff. Didn't work too well."

"Can I see him?" Blaine asked and was led to the room.

Schue put a hand on Blaine's shoulder, "My book says that a first kiss from his true love will wake him. That is if we have the correct poison." He sighed, knowing the chances of it working were slim.

Blaine nodded, "We haven't kissed yet. I'll give it a try." Reaching out and cupping Kurt's cheek, he let their lips touch.

Nothing happened.

"Let me try again." Blaine said, "Maybe I didn't do it right; I've never kissed anyone before." He bent down and tried again, but in vain. Kurt didn't wake.

Puck walked in and pushed Blaine aside, "This is about kissing? Dude, I rock at everything sexual. Let me try."

Schue tried to warn Puck that only Kurt's true love could wake him but didn't have time before Puck was kissing Kurt soundly. To Blaine and Schue's astonishment, Kurt's eyes fluttered open.

"Oh my God." Blaine said, "It worked."

"Puck?" Kurt asked, "Did I tie another scarf too tight?"

Blaine was staring at Puck, "That means you're-"

"A sex shark, I know." Puck smirked.

"-Kurt's true love."

"Blaine?" Kurt turned his neck to see the Prince.

"What?" Puck turned on Blaine, "It just means that Puckzilla can't be denied."

Schue put a hand on Puck, "No, it means that you and Kurt are meant to be."

"I'm confused, what's going on?" Kurt asked, sitting up slowly.

"You were poisoned." Schue said, "And the only way to wake you was to have a first kiss with your true love."

"So you came over." Kurt looked at Blaine with a smile.

"I did. But when I kissed you, you didn't wake." Blaine said sorrowfully, "I tried twice."

"But, my true love - and I thought -" Kurt started.

"I did too. Apparently we're just compatible." Blaine gave a small, sad smile.

"You woke up as soon as I kissed you." Puck said, sitting at the foot of the bed.

Kurt's eyebrows rose, "You're my true love?"

"Just as surprised as I am." Puck shrugged, "Didn't even know I was bi. Go figure."

{{{|

Rachel smiled to herself, knowing the answer to the question before asking it, "Is there anyone else who can hit a high F?"

Jesse closed his eyes, knowing how Rachel would react, "Kurt."

"Kurt is still alive?" Rachel yelled.

"Don't go storming out to try and kill him." Jesse said, causing Rachel to stop and sit down. "Because of the last attempt, Kurt found his true love and it isn't Blaine. He's going to stay at the New Directions house, at least for now. You don't need to worry. He's pretty far away and you'll never have to out sing him in a Diva Off. Leave him be."

Rachel blinked, "He found his true love?"

"He woke up from true loves first kiss. So, yeah." Jesse bit out.

"Oh." Rachel paused, "I guess if he's going to stay away." Nodding to herself, she asked, "What is he doing now?"

Jesse bit his lip, "Well, right now he and Puck-"

"His true love is named Puck?" Rachel was shocked, to say the least.

"-are kinda going at it in their bedroom. In fact, it's round two."


End file.
